My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled
the situation with my
wife, Carol. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for
Carol to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for
extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly
after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I
usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home
from work
Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to
rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at
her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she
gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch each day in the
Men's Grill at the Golf Club, so eating out is not an option in the
evening.
I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to
do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual
for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.
I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each
evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really
appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before
she
goes to bed.
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she
will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly
bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or
worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch
it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush
so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then
wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact
is one of my strong points..
When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest
periods... She had to take a break when she was only half-finished
mowing the front lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I
tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed
lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one
for herself, she may as well make one for me, too. .
I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Carol.
I'm not saying that showing this much patience & consideration is
easy.
Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible!
Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get
older.
However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less
criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider
that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this
earth to help each other.
EDITOR'S NOTE:
Ron died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police
report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big
Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches
of
grip showing, and a sledgehammer lying nearby. His wife Carol Anne
was arrested and charged with murder.
The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense
that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.